Kingdom of God

On a gloomy Saturday morning, suddenly I heard the doorbell ring. I was getting ready to go out and wasn’t expecting anyone at that time. So a little confused, I opened the door and saw an elderly lady and a cheerful young man. They both greeted me and the young man asked me the question “What do you think is the cause for all the chaos in the world”. Though I wanted to dismiss them right away and carry on with my plans, I couldn’t do it because of the lady. Something gentle in her eyes stopped me. So I answered saying how people are living senselessly and in their pursuit of happiness, destroying everything around them. The young man was encouraged by my answer and he started explaining to me about how god prophesied that such things would happen and started showing quoted texts from the bible. I am not a religious person and my way is that the kingdom of god is with in and there is no need to go to any temple or church in search of god. I see god or what ever that I hold as the highest in everything around me, in the whole existence. I keep myself open to different philosophies. So I was listening to the young man and in the end, he gave me a book to read and thanked me for my time.

I may not agree with what he said but what touched me the most was that they took the initiative to spread the message. The message may not be that important to me; they were deeply touched by something and they wanted to reach out to others so others can also benefit from their experience. They were willing to take the step despite other people’s reactions to them. I was humbled by their willingness.

Turning Point

I was never one for Gurus but I ended up in Sadhguru's camp. I heard about him in 2001, when I was on vacation in Chennai. I was standing near a bus terminal with my cousin and that’s when sadhguru's poster caught my attention. My immediate reaction was Oh! there comes another guru to save chennai vasigal!!. Then I heard about him thru my friend and my MIL!! My friend was completely transformed from with in, you know with a halo and all that stuff :) I was thinking to myself what did this 'Jaggi'(as Sadhguru was called then) do to him*!@???... I was really intrigued but still was not ready to jump in.
Carried on with my life as usual...From my husband's family, I would still hear about Sadhguru once in a while as they all'd been initiated by 'Him'.
I used to wonder "what's this initiation? Can I be initiated as well?". But at the same time I was also irritated as they all seemed to be drawn to him.
I was so caught up in my mind that I thought he must be doing hypnosis… I had not read his books or listened to his CDs nor I had attended any of his programs but still I was forming all kinds of opinions about him.
Then in summer 2006, my beloved MIL passed away. She vanished just like that never giving me a chance to say ‘Good bye’. Though I miss her dearly even now, it was not her death that shocked me but the suddenness. For the first time I realized that Death does’t wait for anyone even for me… I was not paralyzed by pain but I felt my pride crumbling down as it dawned upon me that I didn’t know anything about life. The last conversation I had with her was after she came back from the wholeness program with Sadhguru and she was sharing her experiences of the program. Five months after her death, I signed up for the Inner Engineering program in NJ, Jan 2007 –Isha Yoga program.

First I thought it was her death or some sort of guilt that’s pushing me to take the program. But now after 3 years of her death, I realize that I didn’t want to die with out knowing what initiation was… I am glad that I took the program and now I approach my life every day as it is my last.